What are the awards shows if not formal entertaining events. I mean they serve food/drink and get all dressed up so it's party, right?
That said, I have a few things to say about party etiquette (my personal comments ref best/worst dressed are in the box to the right).
For the host:
Be clear about party purpose, when, where, time, dress code, and inclusion of additional guests. Regarding guests...if you want just the invitee to attend, address the invitation specifically to him/her. If the invitee is single and you're ok with him/her bringing a guest, address the invitation to the invitee and guest. Always include a date by which to RSVP ("répondez s'il vous plaît" or respond please) to the invitation.
If you're hard and fast about the number of participants you can accomodate, put a statement in the invitation saying so...maybe something along the lines of: "Seating is limited for this event."
For the invitee:
When you receive a party invitation, read it carefully. Check your datebook to see if you have a conflict. If not, and you wish to attend the party...RSVP!!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough. When someone takes the time to invite you to an event and then asks you to RSVP, do it. How else can they plan accordingly? Absolutely galls me when people ignore pleas to RSVP.
Also, if the invitation is addressed to you alone, don't assume you can bring a guest. If it is addressed to you and a guest, don't assume this means you can bring your child. Always assume "guest" refers to an adult companion. In any case, always check with the host regarding guest attendance.
Dress code -- if the invitation does not expressly indicate what's appropriate, call the host and ask. Other than a Superbowl Party, I think it's safe to assume you should dress up to a certain extent. But again, always ask if it's not indicated on the invitation.
Timing -- I do not buy into the "fashionably late" thing. If the invitation says the party starts at 7PM, be there at 7PM. Don't be early though. It's awfully rude to intrude on the host's preparation time. Also, don't be the last one to leave. Look for signs from the host that things are winding down...blowing out candles, clearing plates, etc.
Gifts -- I was raised to believe that whenever you are invited to someone's house, you bring something. Flowers may seem like a great gift but to a harried host, flowers are just one more logistical element she didn't plan for. Wine is always good but find out what the host drinks first. Nothing like giving the host a bottle of red wine when she prefers white. I find some of the best gifts are chocolates...preferably gift boxed so the host can easily put them aside and enjoy them later.
Bringing a dish -- if the event is a potluck or just that you simply like to cook...it's perfectly acceptable to ask the host if you can bring something. Adhere to whatever menu/theme the host has in mind though. In other words, don't bring salsa to an Italian-themed event. Also ask about serveware...I always bring my own but try to keep it neutral so it will fit in with whatever the host is using. Don't bring Tupperware to a more formal event...and always bring your own utensils so the host doesn't have to scrounge around for another serving spoon.
And always, always, send a thank you note if you enjoyed the event. I know the tendency today is to send an e-mail, but please, if you do nothing else I've outlined above, please send a handwritten thank you note. It'll mean so much.
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